Stop Husband Flirting With Other Women
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Stopping Husband's Flirting
You have women flirting with your husband. The real issue with regard to women flirting with your spouse is the issue of the flirting behavior of your spouse. You cannot control other women, and you cannot expect your husband to live in a bubble.
I have two recommendations for you. If you want to stop women flirting you need to ask your husband to give the ladies a clear message that he is married and that he cannot ruin his relationship with you. If he is flirting at work, there is not much that you can do, and usually those relationships at work are simply that, relationships at work. They usually don't go past that stage.
You could always spy on your husband at work if the concern is that great. You can have friends on the inside, you can hire a private detective, or you can just go observe your husband as he gets off work.
But if the flirting is at parties or at home, you can ask your husband if he would approve of your flirting with other men. Find out how serious he is about your marriage! You need to speak with him, and as the song says, be his only dream. You both have to try more romance.
Keep in mind that I am writing this as a husband who has been married 34 years. I am no doctor Phil. If these answers are not informaton you can work with I suggest you see a professional marriage counselor.
But I strongly advise you that you will not be happy if you try to retaliate by having a sexual liaison yourself. It will not be fulfilling, it will not give you satisfaction, and it will not give you the moral leverage to impress upon him the need for fidelity.
Improve Your Appearance to Minimize the Damage of Flirting
Of course most women know that improving one's appearance can help a man stop flirting. While many women fight this notion, saying that the husband should love the inner woman, that does not always work for all men. So the result, as you can see, is a large desire on the part of many women to be fashionable, to wear jewelry, etc.You may even decide to consider more interesting intimate apparel!
While it can ruin a marriage to spend your way to glamor, and that truth should not be taken lightly, a moderate effort at improving one's looks can go a long way to make your relationship more interesting. I have written about glamor and fashion and have collected other Hubpage authors' recommendations about fashion. I urge you to take the time to read the information.
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I wonder how you think this fits your views Charmaine?
Sometimes "flirting" creates a little jealousy, which in a way can spice up a relationship, if it has grown a little stagnant.
True, but some women are more secure in their own lives than others.
True True, women will flirt and move one whether they are jealous of the wives or want to feel better about themselves. It is the husband who should be 'put under the micro-scope and bashed if he responds to the bits and tits'.
Lol, yes he should be bashed. I just am not sure what you mean by "bashed"!! :))
Its really true that women never satisfy with single man.
Well, what if a woman is just unattractive no matter what she does? What about disabled women? What about us women who just have "mannish" features? Should we just not get married? If a man is interested in us should we send him away saying "I'm just too unattractive for you to be with"? If making oneself more attractive will prevent one's husband from straying, then why even get married in the first place? What about being true to your spouse and honoring the VOWS you took? So you really think that it's okay to mess around just because some woman who is more attractive than your spouse?
If a woman is unattractive, she may actually have some good features that she could enhance. All women can show a feminine side.
If a man has a lot of self resolve, and loves you for who you are, there should not be a problem. We are talking about men who do not have the resolve to be faithful, who are on the edge of not being faithful.
What if you ARE an attractive woman and keep yourself looking sexy...and you get along wonderfully with your husband and do sexy things. And he still flirts? And you talk to him about it in a non-threatening way and you tell him your feelings...and how it hurts you. And he still flirts? And you get years of counseling....and he sees a psychiatrist. And he still flirts?
Well, in that case, it all depends on the degree of flirting. If you think it is dangerous to your marriage and if you think he is cheating you can warn him of divorce. That is your right. But if you are the one he "goes home with" and if he is true to you I would not worry too much. This is my opinion, only. So, you can run these ideas past your counselor.
Flirting in my opinion is a way for both parties to build self esteem. Flirting keeps the spice in life and both parties benefit. If people act on a flirt and pursue an affair then that is a problem and that shows lack of self esteem and lack of self control.
A life without flirting would be dull and boring. Loosen up and enjoy life.
Ha, Neil, like I said, if it is under control then I don't see a problem with it. It can get out of control and depending on the individual, be quite damaging. So, all things in moderation, right?
Flirting is healthy and normal. What isn't normal is marrying only one (one?!) person out of the millions walking this planet and making a lifelong promise to be with that person and no-one else forever and ever, and nobody else. It's infantile and rooted in the worst of human emotions: insecurity, loneliness, jealousy and possessiveness. Yes, we tell ourselves it's love, but true love comes from within and it allows us to put our petty emotions aside so that our lifelong partners can experiment with others and pursue other loves.
Oh I don't know. Lonliness is something that affects people more as they grow older. And commitment is not a bad thing! Perhaps you are being a bit too "polyannish" about the single or swinger life.
Enjoy your STD's Pollyanna. That's what messing around brings with it. People don't want to talk about the fact that one in every 5-yes 5 adults has incurable Genital Herpes! That's right, Genital Herpes is incurable, and those Herpes sores hurt! I don't want it! Not to mention HIV and Hepatitis- I don't want that either. THAT is why messing around is dangerous-there are more consequences than just a broken heart. Monogamy is the only HEALTHY way to live.
That doesn't sound too pleasant Darla. Good advice.
My husband is always taking women's phone numbers and on his down time at work he texts them. I have told him that this is inappropriate in general and hutful to me. His response is that I shouldn't cage him. He is faithful to me, and is only passing time with them. I have seen some of the texts talking about them going out for drinks or him going to her appartment, but he has not done these things-it's only talk. His solution is to erase his text messages before he comes home, so I don't see them. He will not do counseling. He says he is happy with me and wants nothing from them other than time passing. I have cried, yelled, improved my appearance, reasoned with him about what he's doing. Nothing works. He admit's that he's wrong but refuses to stop it. What can I do?
Wow, that seems over the top. It sounds like a fantasy, but you wonder if one would be receptive. How are you sure, other than through a private investigator, that this behavior hasn't resulted in cheating?
You could make sure he spends more time with you.
I'm sure he is faithful-so far. He works alot of hours, and yes, the money matches the hours. He does spend pretty much all of his off work time with me. I occasionally check his phone and call some of the numbers that seem suspisious. That's how I recently found out about Michelle. I haven't confronted him about it yet, but he knows something is wrong. I'm not leaving my marriage over it, because I believe he is only playing a game with them. But I can't live like this forever. I hate that I feel that I have to check up on him and can't completely trust him. He doesn't understand why I don't trust him...
He is definitely living on the edge. Best wishes.
My spouse is a great husband, but such a flirt! I hate it so much that it makes me physically ill. He tells me its just my insecurities & I should get over it because as long as he can see he will continue to flirt. I hate it so much that sometimes when it happens I think of ending my 20 year marriage. whats worse is we attend church & he has never tried to stop. as a christian you should try to stop . at least try...i am heartbroken over this & it's affecting our marriage. he says its all my fault, he's also a bully. he wasn't always like this? is this mid life crisis????? coming from a man's opinion how do i cope with this & pray he will change his hurtful ways to me. i am very attractive, volumptuos, & very sexual. but i cant compete with 20 year olds. help :(
Mid life crisis. Perhaps talking to an expert would help both of you.
And tell him 20 years of marriage has too much of a track record just to give up and throw away.
Why not go out, just the two of you, and get out of patterns that are a waste of time, especially if your time is limited.
Charmaine T 3 years ago
Thanks bgamall!