Experience With Gay Straight Interaction
72A Young Stevie Nicks
My Experience with Gays
I have a little story to tell. I was in San Luis Obispo, California in the mid 80's with my family. The kids were somewhere else, and my wife and I were cruising the little shopping mall/hotel complex off freeway 101. We noticed a lot of vintage cars, and we decided to go into the hotel to see what was going on. I am an impatient guy sometimes so I walked in first. I really didn't pay much attention at first, but suddenly I had the unusual feeling of many eyes of men on Me.
While I was noticing all their eyes on me, I also noticed that these guys in this lobby were standing really close to each other, even pairing off! It was apparent by now that there was a gay men convention and they drove their little vintage cars to it!
Anyway, my wife followed me in. Usually back then she could turn a few heads and she got nothin'! It didn't take her long to figure out who they were looking at: ME.
Later on we went to the comedy club. The comedians were making some fun of the convention situation, but more an acknowledgement than anything hurtful. After the club, my wife had to go to the bathroom. I was sitting with three other guys waiting at the bathroom. I had felt so uncomfortable earlier that I thought the other three guys were gay. I was extremely uncomfortable. But one by one, a girl came out and they left with a female! There must be something significant about that episode but it is above my pay grade to figure that out! My wife kidded me about the encounter for years!
I am a pretty tolerant guy. I am one who believes in live and let live. My favorite uncle was gay. He was a very kind and courteous person. I don't have a problem with a small group gay people in a room at all. I had a big problem with a gay convention as I have referred to humorously. I had a problem being a minority. I have a little comment box below and would like to get your comments on multiple gay contacts and how that would impact you. Be brave and make a comment!
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How Would a Convention of Gay People of Your Sex Impact You? If You are Gay please Weigh in on my Story with your Thoughts.Loading...
From my own experience, the only men who have a problem in dealing with gay men are those who are insecure and/or unsure about there own sexuality.
I have had a number of gay male friends over the years, as well as regular interaction with both individual gay men and gay male couples. The only problems I have ever had regarding those relationships were as follows.
Firstly, my ex-wife "warned" me to be careful about my association with the gay community, as I was at risk of being found "guilty by association". I responded by telling her that I knew where I stood sexually, as did my friends and if anyone else thought any other, then that was their problem, not mine.
The second occasion was when I worked as Health & Fitness manager at a prestigious health club in England. As well as managing the fitness side of the club, I also taught aerobics classes. I was a fit, good looking single guy, who enjoyed the company of a string of girlfriends. There were two gay male couples who were members of the club, which also had a bar/restaurant in the complex. Following two occasions in which I had sat drinking and talking with both couples separately on consecutive Saturday evenings, the gossip began to circulate around the club that I "swung both ways" and some of the younger male members became a little wary in their interaction with me. I now refer back to my first statement about insecurity. To me, if that was what they thought this and were affected by it, then they were the ones who had the problem, not I.
Over the years I have had straight and gay friends of both genders. Indeed, one of my closest friends these days is a lesbian who was, until very recently in a long-term relationship. I was the only male present at her (now ex) partners birthday party.
On one occasion whilst living in South Africa a number of years ago, I was the only straight man present at a social gathering in the home of one of my closest friends, who was gay. One of his other friends present, whom he had know for many years before I met him had taken a fancy to me and (partly due to his intoxicated state) wouldn't stop hitting on me. I don't have a problem with gay men hitting on me, but don't like being pestered. Rather than allowing me to be upset by his other friend, Lesley ordered a taxi for his "nuisance" friend and asked him to leave.
The old adage "Birds of a feather flock together" is never more true than when you find that a minority exists within a society, especially when they are either viewed with hostility, or are not treated as equals by the rest of society. The real power in society belongs, supposedly, to people like myself - straight, white males. Society would function a lot better and life would be a whole lot more pleasant for us all if we ALL treated people we interact with in the same manner, irrespective of whether they be straight or gay, white or from some other ethnic origin, male or female.
maven101's experience was the result of a minority protecting their territory because they felt that they might otherwise be under threat. It wasn't because they were gay, it was because they were a minority. Radical feminists disgorge their mysandrist rhetoric as a result of the inequities and injustices to which they have been subjected during their lives.
Although I'm not personally particlarly religious, there is a lot of wisdom to be found in the Bible and so I would like to close with a biblical quotation; "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself and you'll find that you have a lot more in common than you have differences.
Maybe the fact she was married and had two children had something to do with it....The plain fact is, they did not want to work with a woman...they insisted we hire their choice...I'm talking about 53 men, and yes, they were very aggressive towards the woman and towards management...They had us over a barrel and they knew it...as the central billing department they processed thousands of freight bills every night. Without these bills being processed into delivery receipts for drivers the business would stop, we would lose customers, and millions in revenue. Never underestimate the power of gender.
Woof Woof
I have both decent and awkward experiences with gay guys, I worked at a Hollywood studio and many were cool and invited me to parties, no strings attached, they knew were I stood, I drink beer, not cocktails type of thing, and they always had hot girlfriends to hook me up with. I had other circumstances where they were maybe trying to get me know me better in a way I don't go. Yipes! Needless to say, I didn't like that feeling and it made me understand how men are dogs no matter if they are gay or straight.
Well, I didn't ever feel anyone was aggressive to me. I just was unprepared for that particular group dynamic. The aggressiveness you were talking about likely came from the fact that these guys were good at their jobs and a female interfered with that in some way. But I wonder how she interfered with the dynamic. Just an observation.
While working as the terminal manager for Delta Lines in San Francisco, I ran into a strange situation with an all gay male billing department. These guys were fantastic. Working nights, unsupervised, never missing work, very few mistakes, ran like a well-oiled machine.
Until...an opening came up in the department and I hired an extremely well qualified woman to fill the slot. Next thing I know, I have a boycott, a threatened walk-out, my boss calling from the " Tower ", shoddy and late billing problems...all because a woman was placed in the department. Bottom line, I had to replace her with another gay that was recommended by the gay guys.
She became my personal assistant, making a hell of a lot more money and better hours.
My experience with gays is this: As individuals you cannot find more compassionate, intelligent, and hardworking folks. As a group something changes. A territorial imperative asserts itself and they can become aggressive.
bgamall Hub Author 23 months ago
Thanks for your response. There is no question that as you have eloquently written, this is a complex issue. And I agree that the right thing to do is be more tolerant of your fellow man. As a straight guy I try apply the golden rule.